Please, if you are merciful, shoot me now

I can't live anymore. I can't do it in this state. Andy hates me. I'm her main antagonist. Because I didn't like Maximum Ride four. I- I'm at a complete and utter loss for words, for the first time in my life, I am stunned into silence. I feel like puking. Puking and cutting. Cutting deep enough to see a little river of crimson blood seep through my brand-new chain pants- deep enough to somehow gouge out this feeling of utter emptiness, of sadness. I love Andrea. I love her so much there is very little I wouldn't do for her- nothing I wouldn't do for her. An hour dosen't go by where I don't think of her- and she hates me. I am her antagonist. Please, please, please, if you're a merciful, save-the-puppies kind of person, shoot me now. This pain is cruel, I'm living in a cruel state of being, a state when I am no longer capable of helping even myslef. Please shoot me now.
Oh, god, why do I have to be such a self centered pig?! Why did I post that post? Why do I try to plan things at the last minet? Why do I let me grades slip away without caring?
No ammount of blood could make me feel better now.
Please kill me, or I'll have to do it myself.