Saturday, May 31, 2008


I love you. I love you more than air, than food, than water.
But I think I might die if I don't know;
do you love me too?

Friday, May 30, 2008


Its almost midnight.
I'm not even vaugely tired.

My mind is running in impossible circles, and the only two options I have aren't execptable. One; run away like the coward I am, throw away the one thing that matters to me most. Break up with Andrea. It took me twenty minets to type those four words, because even the mere thought of doing that stabs giant holes in my chest. Option Two; live through summer, knowing I'll see Andy in the fall. Not okay. I'm in enough pain as/is. The other options all make no sense or require bending of reality to come true.

I don't know whats happening to me. It's a bit early for PMS- as a matter of fact, freakishly early, so that's been discounted. Sleep. I have to sleep. My mind is still going in torturing cricles, slowly stripping away whatever limited concept of sanity I have left. I need a distraction, something I can throw myself into to occupy my body and mind.

I need to throw a party.

That's what I'll do. A sleepover- june 8-9. A twilight themed party. With Lucy. And lots of weird things. Go Alice on their asses. I will plan an epic party. I will endure till june 9th planning my party. Then Elena will arrive; my mind will clear. Or not. It might fog up more.

It's days like this I regret giving up cutting. Pain takes away every other emotion and lets your mind be clear, for once, to think. I need a clear head right now. How do I get one?


What belongs to me?
Do my eyes?
My hair?
My skin?
My heart?
They all belong to someone else.
I'd like them back now,

That Girl

I'm just spewing words.

I'm too hot-
molten lava drips across my skin.
I'm too cold-
my heart feels ready to stop beating.
I'm too awake-
my stomach lurches, my limbs twitch.
I'm too asleep-
I haven't moved for hours.
I'm too quiet-
I don't say what matters most.
I'm too loud-
I say what you don't want to hear.
I think its too late for me,
that girl
the one who's glassy eyed and wanders
but who always sees too much.

Thursday, May 29, 2008


Well, its officialy been 2.5 hours of summer vacation, and I'm bored. WoW's busy, I can't play sims, I have no new books to read, and I'm










Friday, May 23, 2008

Oh, To Poop in Peace!

I went to the doctor's 2 days ago. I will spare you the gruseome details.


Saturday, May 17, 2008


Blergh. I got WoW running. I'm tired...and have stomach flu...and I miss my Andy!!!!

Mom had a party with some of her college students last night, it was fun!!! I'll show u the vid I made soon, i interviewed them all to become president!

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Birthday Madness!!!

Happy birthday dear Rob, happy birthday dear Rob, happy birthday dear fucking hot vampire boy, happy birthday dear rob!!!
Lets here a big happy b day for Robert!!!! W00t!!!

In other news...I'M GOING TO THE TWILIGHT MIDNIGHT RELEASE!!!!!! ITS MY BDAY PARTY!!!!! ALL MY FRIENDS ARE INVITED!!!!!!! Also, I'm attending the Breaking Dawn midnight release, which you are all also invited to partake in. Especially members of my coven. ;)

Attendence for both of these events is optional. However, only an idiot or someone who hates being with other people would pass this up.

Leave a comment!!!!!! Comments make me squeal with joy!!!


ANYWAys, I'm home sick 2day. Yay! Great fun! *eye roll*

Monday, May 12, 2008

Can any1 explain why my name is the oNLY tag 4 this? Thxs!

Tizri The Tiger!!!!!!!

lol, i can't tell if Andy likes my idea about the nose stud or not. Who cares? I did blood typing without screaming, freaking, pulling away, or even thinking about how much it would hurt. Awesome diamond stud- here I come!!!!

Okay, this issue has been bugging me for ages, so I decided to blog and blog and blog about it. Leah's writing a story, about how all of us have been genetically engineered and shit. I looove it- except- I dont have wings, when other people do! :(

I got over that, though. Even though every time I think about my inability to fly, I get this pain in my chest like someone decided to carve a giant hole right about where my liver should be.

How do I deal? I get A FUCKING TON of awesome powers!!! Like, more than Angel has!!!!! Happy!!!! Hrm...I'm like a tiger/human mix, so I have claws, a murderous rage, the ability to read minds, and more stuff that is to be decided.

Hey, Leah, if Ellie was kind enough to email you this post (WINK WINK NUDGE NUDGE ELLIE) I have three things I would loooooooove to have. One: The ability to run like a maniac, awesome strength (both very cat-like features) and the ability to change my eye/hair color. Note: these are suggestions, as in if it screws up your plot or whatever, completely and utterly ignore them, please. They would just be really freaking cool.

What else, what else? I'm the guinea pig of Benji's latest expiriment, but there's not much to tell on that yet because I have no idea whatsoever he is going to do.

I saw Chorus Line yesterday- YAY!!! Great play!!! Don't want to blog about it!!!!

LOL, I relized I am fucking strong. I mean, on Saturday I had a voice recital, and I was really nervous, so I dug my nails into the (concrete) wall and gripped hard, and then *crack* a CHUNK OF SOLID CONCRETE WALL was in my hand. I put it back in, and smoothed the wall around it with my thumbs so it would look kinda normal...ish. And today in LA I was pissed as hell, so I slammed my (free!!!!!) copy of Eclipse aginst the bookselves-twice. and It cracked into two- twice. Oops... can NORMAL people rip off chunks of wall and book like that?

I've had a fever for two months and counting now, so I'm just assuming I run at 99.8 ferenheight normally, because it makes me so damn overheated! Ugh, its so damn hot all the time...if the freak weather here would snow 2nite I would love that!!

I'm developing abs and upper arm muscle!!!! All that swinging is paying off!! I love myself!!!

Its weird..I used to be this total weakling, not even able to lift heavy (20 lbs+) stuff, and now I'm ripping chunks of wall off and growing muscles and hauling our 170 lbs lovesack with ease. Lets hear it for hormones, people! That lovesack weighs more than I do, jeez...

Wow this is a long post. Ellie has a boyfriend named Reece's Pieces. No, his name is Reece, but whenever I hear that I think about peanut buttery chocolatey goodness.

Arthur's taking me shopping soon. He wants me to wear things other than a t shirt and jeans. He wanted to take me to Hollister, but I violently refused. I may not be emo, but I sure as HELL will NEVER be prep. (Is prep short for something?)


Thursday, May 8, 2008

Godamn Leprechauns, Godamn Leprechauns


1. I;m soooo sorry I forgot ur bday, Mouse!!!!! Happy insanely belated birthday!!!!
2. Given up on the emo thing. I like life too much to hate it.
3. Blood typing in Science today. I promised myself if I can do this w/o freaking out, then I will get my nose pierced.

Sunday, May 4, 2008


I'm scared. Normally I would go on a rant and sevral tangents, but I dont have much time here. I'm so so, so so, so so, so so, sorry to the person I hurt. U kno who u are

please, if u forgive me, leave it in the comments. or if u dont, leave it in the comments.

Saturday, May 3, 2008


Meh. I have nothing 2 report. so meh.