Tuesday, July 29, 2008

My boredum


Well anyways, seeing as though I haven't puked YET, I decided to rip off cracked's Children's Characters Who Need To Come Out of The Closet.

And dammit I'm bored.

And so, I present: Tizri's list of characters YOU said were (are?) gay. And wether or not you're totally batshit insane.

Scorpio (Farscape): Okay, let's take a looksee here. 1) Wears leather. Enough said. 2) Even BEFORE John had those wormhole memories implanted in him, who did Scorpio chase? Aeryn? Chiana? No. John. And *hem hem* he COULD have killed him at many, MANY intervals, but somehow continues to Epically Fail. 3) Uhm, makeup much?

Consensus: YES, because even though he screwed several evil chicks during the course of the series, he was always talking about John before, during, and after.

Chiana (Farscape): What the hell? It's practically a requirement of her androgyneous (sp?) species to be bi. Why did you even have to ask? She'll sleep with anything that moves, and some things that don't.

Consensus: Bi. No duh.

Danny Tanner & Joey Gladstone (Full House): Okay...evidence times!!!! 1) Neither rly dated chicks....ever..... 2) Even though Danny's WIFE FREAKING DIED, he refused to be sad, besides melodramatic tears. 3) Both are waaaaaaaaaaaay too excited to be made up by Danny's daughters. 4) Guy BFFs& a serious, commited BFF relationship (the kind that's usually reserved for kindergarten, ie "NO HES MINE!!! NO, MINE!!!!" 5) All too eager to move in there, Joey. 6) Neither one even LOOKS at Jesse's thousands of hot girlfriends. 6) oh, my god, how much fucking time do you need to spend on your hair there, Danny?!

Consensus: Totally in love w/ each other. Or really bad acting. You decide.

Chuckie (Rugrats): You scream and point to the fact that in All Grown Up he's nervous, timid and reluctant around girls. Aren't, uhm, lets think here, ALL SIXTH GRADERS?!?!?!?!?!?!

Consensus: The oldest we ever see him is 6th-7th grade. My minimum judgement age is 14, especially for fictional characters.

Angel (Maximum Ride series): Okay, Yahoo Awnsers, really?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!! She's. Six. Years. Old.

Consensus: SIX. YEARS. OLD.

Lestat (Interview with the Vampire): True, he does lick/kiss/stroke his male victims, but he does that with any human he feeds on. It's like a whole taunting process for him. And yes, TWICE he choses males to become his companions in eternaty, but wouldn't you want a friend? Oh, fine. It IS a little fishy.

Consensus: Bisexual, or just seriously messed up.

(insert anime character here): Don't read it, don't watch it. It inspires rage in me.

Fang (Maximum Ride series): People assume because they assume he's emo he's also gay. That kind of backward logic makes no sense to me, plus, uhm, didn't he like grab and snog max in chap. 18 of book 3? And in the Lakehouse they have sex (or so I've been told)

Consensus: Assuming makes an ass out of u and me. I want proof in movie/book form. And no, Figgy fanfic does NOT COUNT, Flocker12.

And as for the dozens of other's the chats/forums/awnsers/muchobene told me: I only included the obviously bad ones in here cuz I thought it was hilarious to even think about. Some of them aren't even worth wikipedia's time. (Read: Edward Cullen. WTF?) :) Cheers all!!!

BREAKING DAWN COMES OUT IN JUST A FEW DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHGHJGFDSHJKLREAGKI743Wjkeufi54t548iu6jk43tjkldsjkfgbhjretg;QjkafgjkLKDKAjQk opk;aHJKGHRSFJK;L/SAgdklgfjvgtreuifoi3eprdf gtjuy4i5h0peasfdojklwqn3r48y3oiknerui3243940kl;./;a/;a'auie4ufbdcmslrmvm cjmowp;w.wudueujejmdudsoir;hewfkWI4!!!!!!!!!!1


pan,t pan,t.... la dee dah dum....

And now for something completely diffrent:
I'm a kiss-up Lord in Cymbeline 4 Shakespeare camp! Go characters that are shallow and don't have names!!!
4 those of u reading this who i dont know in "real life", how did u find out about mah blog?!


Cracked Mirror said...

uuuuuuhhhhhmmmm..... Okaay then. Go take your pills. *pats your head* I know all too well the effects and dangers of boredom. :P

Agent Riot said...

EE!!! headpat!!! *sqys in joy!*

<3 headpats!!

Oh, and btw, I've been saving up all my huggy-crazy-hyper emotions 4 the first day of school. You will have NO CHOICE but to comply to the massive huggle attack!

Jacob has NOTHING on the lvl of hugs in store for you, my friend.

Cracked Mirror said...

*cowers in fear*

Ladybug Girl said...

Wow!! That was a fawesome post!!!!!! I <3 the amazingly hyper and happy Tizri. Andy- Beware!!!! Most of our little group of friends greet with hugs! Expect much human contact!!! Muahahaha

Cupcake, darling! said...

wowza tiz.... epic. SECRET CODE TERRORIST FIST BUMP!!!!

RØÇK †h€ ƒLÒÇK! said...

your post have become way to long for my small little brain to handle!!!

Cracked Mirror said...

Woah woah woah woah. Wait just a moment...... How can I fit that many words here?!?!?!?!? IT"S NOT FAIR!!! >.<