Which Sucks, BTW

Here I am, ranting about my life and being about as Emo as I'll ever be w/o freaking out the whole school (everyone wants the happy, upitty Tizri. Whoo-Fuckin-Hoo.). Sure, I find a couple of things decdent about myself (my ability to write...er...) and then I'm defeated at that too. fictionalexsist.blogspot.com. My best friend's blog. And she is a better writer/drawer/overal person than me. Her relatives are famous, her life rocks, she's got the style I've been DREAMING of since I wanted fashion, she's tall, thin, GORGEOUS, wears glasses (don't ask me why, I've always wanted too) and has hot guys chasing after her pretty much every time she steps out of the house.

I'm short, fat, pretty crapping at pretty much everything, have acne and a plain face with permanent dark circles (lack of sleep) and out of two BF's/Gf's I've EVER had, the longest lasting one was 2 weeks. And he thinks I'm ugly. No guy has EVER flirted with me, no matter how much I brag (Oh yea, did I mention I lie w/o wanting too, as well?)

I'm failing my best class. And all my "friends" get all pissed at me when I' not perpetual pumped on Prozac.
"What's wrong, Tizri?"
"Smile, Tizri!"
"Don't be sad/emo/depressing, Tizri!"
Translation= we met you as a hyperactive little kid, waiting to grow up. Stay that way. Forever.

God dammit, if I can't even be honest with my friends, if I can't even tell them that I like girls, then WHY THE HELL are they my friends?!?!

And the ONLY friend I've ever been TRULY honest with is pretty much better at everything, luckier, prettier, and all around awesome-er. Best music, best TV shows, best games, best everyhting!

God, if she dumped me, I'd kill myself, seeing as though all I have left is the guilt I would expirience if I made her sad.

I hope ur reading this. I hope you all freaking are.