Thursday, October 2, 2008

Flamingo Legs of Yellow and Green

Bored bored bored in my mom's class... I dididn't go to school 2day. Beacause Andy made something that sounded like a suicide attempt on her blog. Understandably, I FREAKED OUT, and it took me an hour and a half before I was even willing to talk about it. So, mom took me to work with her so I didn't have to deal with school and all that shit. Yes, counselors were called, so they have a legal obligation to pull Andy and call her mom.
Gawd, why does life have to be so damn complicated? I mean, why can't everyone just mind their own shit and let us all get along? Ellie's left our group, Andy's dying, Mouse is acting like I'm the villian from some stupid HBO Lifetime movie. So.. with the whole "my-life-is-a-steryotypical-teenage-coming-of-age-book" theory, let's see where I am in the plot:

1. Start something new and big. CHECK
2. Make insta-friends with someone who otherwise wouldn't associate with you. CHECK.
3. Have crisis. CHECK.
4. Be rejected by crush. CHECK
5. BFF suports you. CHECK
6. Hook up with BFF. CHECK
7. Make huge discovery about self. CHECK
8. Get dumped, relize they weren't the right person for you. CHECK
9. Go into a "slut" phase whilst still obsessing over ex. CHECK
10. Do something crazy to try to "fix" self.
11. Find "true" happyness, figure out problems.
12. Go to high school.

Hmmm... 8 months and three major plot points left to go. Hurry up, author!!!!!

Seriously, I know you're sitting at your computer right now, going "How can I make Tizri AND Andy happy? My two protagonsits need some help!" You're calling your mom, your friends, asking for advice. It will come flodding in.

"Kill one of them!"
"Put them back together in time for the end of the year party!"
"Put Tizri with Benji! There's a plot twist!"
"Make a secondary character save the day!"

Well, author, I'm begging you here:
DON'T KILL ANY OF US OFF.

And hurry the fuck up! Make a montage or some such! A blank page that says "Six months later" like you did in Book 2, 7th Grade!


SERIOUSLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

5 comments:

Cracked Mirror said...

I'd appreciate it if you didn't assume things. Thanks.

Hello, I'm Bored. said...

um........ i'm not sitting at my computer thinking those things at all. i'm just thinking... I WANT FOOD!

Hello, I'm Bored. said...

damn it

Cracked Mirror said...

hey kaylah, which person are you talking to?

Hello, I'm Bored. said...

i think she's talking to tiz... and no offense, i kinda agree with here.