Face Has Melted

How to stay insane...I swear ur face WILL melt.
Watch it for a while.

http://ualuealuealeualemirror.ytmnd.com/

Writer's Block Sucks.

Here. i didnt even think about anything while I wrote this, much less what came out of my mouth. I wanna post it to see if I can fathom it later.


Don’t go bibbilty over thigns you cant contorl. For instance, this incecant whine that drowns out the furious glares of my coke cans and clothes which disperse the visibility of my floor. Or is that music? For love, I can’t figure out which, yet it appears I am glued to this chair, hoping, praying that writing my internal monolouge will spark whatever dregs of creativity I have left in my medicinaly meddled bog brain. I spend too much time doodling, my juices run dry as a cat’s fur. Dry dry dry dry. But I must.. I have commited myself to completely turning over all that is in me, to find the story that I know I must tell, will tell. I have my best inspirational music, books, music, drawings, music and chat windows open and reciving. Yet nothing comes. Words bubble and dribble throughout this weak thing I call a soul. Kiss kiss didnt see it coming but you cant help but hope for the hearts freedom. Migalicutty words tumble from my fingers, yet nothing concrete I can use. Nothing nothing nothing. Automatic flowers won’t do! Tis a poor excuse for love, my flowers, but its all I have to go on. My ice cold hands long to recive the praise I oft give themy, when they make a good thing pop into my mind when they help me, instead of (like today) skitter and scatter my keys till it looks like they will jump up and dance and taunt me till I can think round. And the letters rerarrange until whaft I be saying aint clear- I’m using words from my own personal inner monolauge now. Soon show you won’t be able to scarely comprehend what I dribble over. Taste my dissastisfaction it’s on my tounge yet its too thick and hot and sticky. Comod for the lady, meep. Aright lets rein things back to the warp in spacetime I call me and others call she. See the insaity that oozes through my eyes and into yours? See how it makes me less and less a girl and more and more an extemsion of the slave to the words that cuts and cuts and cuts everything down from her imagination till nothings left but smoke and tears. This is writing what’s on my mind, my morbid miffle muffin mind that moorodes with the marroon meekrats that miss me. Pft! For lo I say! To keep this up is Sparta, to hope for joyous excuses to use again and again until I am not only a slave to these words but a slave to all that these words mean- which is to say, not much- but still hope to see the goldylocks rays of good story. Buttercake and too much coffee makes me a mental case, which everyone wants to diagnose and poke and bleed and watch but what no one can figure out whats wrong. Truth is, I’m not wrong you are. Your wrong. You hide your humanity behind a cloud of expectation and love and I am not bothers by such bibbldy convictions for I am a monster, I am a slave, I am everything but one of you. I am mabye me, mabye Molly, mabye something else in its entirety, but I can say that that does not bother my yiyness. I can spare say what I am saying for the insanity has worn off- to say, that is, the pills,- and the scary fun fun bit comes in the bit where I do shit just to do shit again as opposed to nothing at all expect pathetic scratches at something diffrent than this madness.

Many Shapes And Weights To Choose From

I will never leave my bedroom, I will never cry at night again, wrap my arms around him and pretend...


Anyone seriosuly against me drawing my eyebrows a la Amanda Palmer? If so, speak now or forever hold your peace. We watching the thingy in school tomorrow?!

Velocoraptor ATTAAAAACK

We all know Jurassic Park.

I could survive for 57 seconds chained to a bunk bed with a velociraptor










Started wrestling 2day I AM DEAD. DO NOT APPROACH> I NEED HUGS. AND LOVE.

and mabye some water..... about seven gallons of it, actually.

:) luv u all! Sry in advance if I'm a jerk/dead.

Bash

LOL<>

They Said

they said I have schizophrenia, and that all my other disorders are symptoms. 

I'm not, am I?

They said it's that or physcosis.

HELP!!!

LOL

LOL LOL LOL

I have a feeling, just an inkling, that I'm getting better at this.

A



B

C

Mom saw me screwing (up) around with photoshop, so she gave me several challenges. 

The first was easy: give Summer Glau new makeup, a new haircut, and a brand-new dress. (Pic C) . EASY! The next was to turn the woman in Picture B into a 1920-1940's style movie star, make her look NO OLDER than 25, and turn her into a vampire. Harder. But, as you can see from photo A, I did it reasonably well. she looks a tad melted. I know. You should have seen here in color!!!!!!! Oh, fine... Next post, I'll give you the original summer and the color woman.

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

my mom yelled lawyer-style at the airport. Ten minets later?

*1812 overture*

Me: Hello?

TA Person: hello, is this a Miss Tizar-rey Zee-leg?

Me: Yea.. wassup?

TAP: Your bag should be at your house by midnight.

Me: Oh? It's on a plane?

TAP: No, on a truck. We had it in Denver all this time, but no-one wanted to look for it.

Me: well... thank you. Bye now! Stay shiny!

*click*

godfuckingdammit

MORE THan A THOUSAND DOLLARS OF CLOTHES. they have lost ALL of my favorite clothes, makeup, shampoo, my razor, MY COMBAT BOOTS, my BRAND NEW SHIRTS, ALL the presents to my little cousins, all my underwear, three hundred dollars' worth of bras.... the list goes on. sympathy, please! I need a pity party.

Ok, story Time Children!

Two days ago; kicked off as I am boarding. Today: get to the airport, delayed. Fine. Flight cancelled. Oh, and then because Chicago is a city no one ever goes to, and is totally in the middle of nowhere, no other flights are going there today. I was standing fifty feet from the plane I was supposed to board, and they say THERE ARE NO FLIGHTS.

It should be a federal offense, not letting a little girl see her family on Christmas.

Why Getting A Tounge Bath From A Puppy Is A Bad Idea

Now i'm sick. sick enough to feel like getting up to get another glass of tea is an Olympic effort. Sick enough to not register info coming into my head. sick enough so i cant think.

what the FUCK

I was getting ON MY PLANE, then they said "we can't board you, it's ilegal to board a UM on the last connecting flight for the day"

couldn't they have told me earlier!?!? U know, while I was going through one of the million checkins they do?!

SHIT

trip postponed till tuesday

G'bye All!

I am off to Michigan!  There was a plane crash at DIA last night, so next you hear from me, I will be VERY cranky. And tired. And have almost zero internet. Check out bash.org's top 100 qoutes, though. Hilarious!

Anyways, if my plane crashes and burns to, throw me the biggest damn party known to mankind! And get Amanda Palmer & Brian Molko to show up, too. And Neil Cicirega. 

back to the land of the non-morbid....

my Zoloft hath taken away my ability to write, so shit. Sorry if I don't stay up to date on ur blogs... no internet!!! (Well, very little.)

Oh, and one last thing:

TURN UP YOUR SPEAKERS!!!!

I Want...

Betrayal at House On The Hill (if you can find that game, you're my personal savior and I will love you eternally) ((I'm serious)) (((No, Really))) ((((Pleeeeeeeaaaasssssseeeeeee? Pretty please with a vampire on top?))))

A non-confusing, totally awesome relationship where I don't feel like I'm the OGP at every party. (may not be scientifically possible, see chart) ((Edit: preferable around VDay... see last year's VDay rant)) ((( Left click on the chart above to see the full sized imagine, or a clicky here)))

To figure out what my goddamn gender preference is! (Also, may not be possible.)

A DECENT vampire novel (gotta love Anne Rice.. I only have Interview and Lestat) ((Or gen. dead))

there. My wish list. Happy, Eli?

On a completely and utterly useless note...

I got a hug for my birthday!!!! Badass!!! How do I write Benji a thank you note for a hug, though....

Passing...out....argh...

Oh, did I mention I'm on a low slope in my mood? Nothing you can do about it. Not triggered by anything. Low point in mood. so if I look REALLY bad one day (hygeine gets ignored when I'm depressed) write somewhere on my body that I have to bathe, put on my makeup, and wear Clearasil at night. And brush my teeth and hair. At least. My whole fancy routine is for when my mood is not dead. Also, if I'm missing, say, a shirt, please let me know. (I have done this before. Low points in mood and forgetfulness make strange bedfellows.)

So.. my possible super-pissiness and random bouts of crying/screaming/punching crap should be ignored and not taken personally. Please.

Al I want for Christmas is *mumble mumble mumble* *mumble mumble mumble*!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEEEEEEEEEE

Party: Saturday, 3:30 pm, mah house

Sorry, Andy, mom won't let u come.

This Is Not Very Good

I've been sitting in the exact same spot, surfing the web, for four days. And I'm not bored yet.

Is something horribly, horribly wrong with me? Help! I don;t want to waste my whole Thanksgiving sitting on my expanding ass looking at weird stuff on the web!

Give me something productive to dooooooo!!

I already cleaned my room, organized my backpack, went to the gym twice, took a bath, watched Battlestar Galactica, hung out with my cousins, found a great video/song, and wrapped presents.

I still need to practise my guitar, though.

What should I do to be productive?!

Stuck Between The Try And Try And Get Asphyxiated

So yea... new glasses.... AM I REALLY THAT SHORT AND FAT?!?!?!

OMG, now that my depth perception is correct, everything looks different!

Rawr

I don;t even know where to start. I mean, I ask my mom to find me a cord that's HERS and in HER ROOM, and the FIRST thing she does is go storming into my room, throwing crap everyuwhere and "cleaning" when really all she does is hand me shit and say "put these in the trash!" so now I have like none of my crap and she's all "I can't find your cord, so I guess you'll never get to use the camera again." I said "I need to go into m y room and be ALONE" SHE was like *eye roll* "FINE! BE LIKE THAT!"

so can you tell i'm in a rip-everyone's-head-off mood? Fantasies of jumping out this window right now and leaving forever batter my mind... I'm not part of the solution, I'm part of the problem and the way you get rid of problems is deleteing them. FUCK!!!! I just need some friends who'll fucking be fucking NICE to me and get along with each fucking other and not fucking make fun of me or kick me or make me feel like SHIT for expressing myself and who'll not ask me every twelve godammed fucking seconds if I'm ok because I'm NOT OK but I dont want to fucking talk about!!!!!

I mean, I made a really really UNBELIVABLELY stupid decision, and I can't tell anyone, not even like my cousins, because FUCK it was so dumb and now I'm not.... well anyways, now I have to lie a bunch more and I can't tell anyone I can't tell anyone you better not tell anyone you little slut or I will rip you fucking head of you whore! All you want is sex, right? Slut!!!!

You didn't even enjoy it, did you? No, you didn't even KNOW them and they violated 47 of Tizri's Crimes Against Humanity and there were no fireworks and not even a crush there and oh god you whore why did you do this to me?!

It wasn't Edward and Bella or even Bella and Jacob, it was Bella and random guy in big city alley huh? SLUT I can't even BELIVE you fuck you I'll kill you all

I'LL KILL YOU ALL

I'LL KILL YOU ALL I'LL KILL YOU ALL AND YOU'LL BE DEAD AND I CAN MAKE BROWNIES AND PRETEND I'M STILL OK AND I CAN MAGICALLY STOP EATING JUNK AND BRUSH MY TEETH AND MABYE OH I DON'T KNOW MABYE MAKE IT STOP FEELING LIKE EVERY BREATH IS LIKE TRYING TO LIFT EIGHT HUNDRED POUND WEIGHTS!

Help me please. I can't do this anymore. Stop the planet of the apes, I want to get off! Everyone's acting like nothing's happened when EVERYTHING'S hasppened and oh my god and shoot me know bullet to the brainpan SQUISH haha!!!! then it'll all be gone and I'll be happy I can NEVER date again, let alone think about NO DONT THINK ABOUT IT DONT DONT DONT DONT please god make me a stone!

please, god, if you are merciful, let me erase this one mistake, because it's made me hate myself. 

I'll never be pure again. I'm a..........................................

I DONT EVEN KNOW ANYMORE GOD HELP ME PLEASE!!!

Let me die. Or let me erase my mistakes.

Let there be another chance at hope, or beauty. I fear I'll be hitting 200 pounds soon unless I can get over it.

OH MY GOD

I need glasses now... :(

and I'm gonna move not to Forks but to Washington DC in like 10-11th grade!

NOOOOOOOO

This video isn't very good.... but the song is AHMAZHING

I claim all rights to stories inspired by the song!

Your brother is hot! HITLER!!!!

Okay, I cried watching this hilarious vid!!!!

Prop 8

The gay marriage ban....


its....



passed. All those marriages are now nullified. As in "good job marrying, too bad we won't let you."
Oh!!! I forget who, but some1 in one of those "civil union" states said, actually said, this to a gay man:
Jerk Guy:"So... did you and your partner just get a civil union?"
Gay Man: "Yup!"
Jerk Guy: "That's wonderful! That should tide you over until you settle down and find a nice girl!"




SYMPATHY, PLEASE!!!!

I'm so, so, so, so sorry Andy about the prop 8 passing. :( Tell ur dad and Matt that I give them big mental hugs and fudge!

LiveBlog of the campaing

7:08 COLORADO POLLS CLOSE!!!! not a whole bunch in yet. Colorado and Florida are what we're watching. Words are thrown around. It's all very chaotic and confusing.

7:12 I'm flocking hungry.... X( Lady with a HORRIBLE fake tan fills airspace. We got a slight chink in the stream coverage, so we turn to the other computer, then right back to the original laptop. Choreographed to the nth degree, LOL. Looks like a Monty Python sketch.

7:15 Some ppl scream "2004!!!!" some say "2000!!!!!!!". I say... Cthulhu/Glados 2012! You will be served cake and madness!

7:20 WHERE THE HELL IS MY PIZZA I'M HUNGRY!!!!!!!!!!!???????????

7:21 PIZZA!!!!!!!!

7:22 Go Ohio! One of the deciding states in 04 is going blue.... whoa. I am shocked. Ohio. IS. GOING. BLUE. That is BIG. Lots more caps lock 2nite, I promise, loyal fans! :)

7:46 Augh!!! Cali closes at 9. Not much... rawr.... so hard to wait....

8:10 Admendment 48, the one that would ban abortion and birth control, because, you know, it'd kill clumps of cells, like you do every day. Well, anyways.... IT LOST!!!!! YAY!!!!!!

8:31 this is getting stupyfyingly boring.

9:00 fuck this. I'm tired.

9:04 OBAMA WON!!!! THE RACE IS OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG!!!!!!!!

wwwoooooooooo!!! LET THE SCREAMING BEGIN!!!!!

I BEAT PORTAL

AND I DOWNLOADED THE SONG AND I BEAT THE GAME AND DID I MENTION  I BEAT THE FUCKING GAME I BEAT THE GAME DID I TELL YOU I BEAt the game and i got a song and i HAD A CAKE TODAY!!!!

Unknown Author

She will never know that I cry myself to sleep almost every night because I'm so in love with her.

tags: love, bisexuality, depression, best friends.

I donno, I like it.

Pictures!!!!

Okay, so at the tail end of last year (the school year, that is) my mom bought REALLY tight pants so I could see how much weight I'd lost. Anyways, I threw 'em on today figuring they'd no longer even vaugely fit (I've gone from 168 to 150 to 183 lbs. This is what dieting does!!! DONT DO IT!!!!!!!!) and well, surprise surprise: they were really loose! Look at how much I can pull them off me one handed! See how loose they look even when I've pulled them away!?!??! and my flat(er) tummy is ah-mah-zing!!!

How did this happen!??!? I didn;t get any taller I GAINED weight: I've been packing on the RediWhip and cookies! How? How?!?!? YAY!!!!!

WWOOOOOOOotttttTTTTT!!!! This is fucking awesome! Valentine's day here I come!!!

Epic Failure

Here we go........

he's asked a wonderful, thoughtful question. He gives a really weird and irrelevent awnser. Just wanted to see what the "other side" has to say.

201st post!

TAKE MY QUIZ

sorry, forgot to mention that last post was my 200th! WoOt!

okay. so, I JUST finished Portal. I beat the game!!!!!! :) :) :) :D :D :D i'm so happy I could just pass out!!!!! I got congradulations brownies, too! I know, i know, it's supposed to be cake, but Ali can't make cake so she made me brownies.

Oh, if you don't own Portal go buy the Orange Box RIGHT NOW. It has 4 games for the price of 1!! Oh, and I'm NOT gonna help u on Portal. the fun is figuring it out urself.

i will tell you this, though: LISTEN TO WHAT THE COMPUTER SAYS. LOOK AT EVERY PICTURE ON THE WALLS, FLOOR, WHATEVER. EXPLORE AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. AND NEVER, EVER, EVER FORGET TO LOOK UP!!!!

to win portal you will need:

- two hands

- motion sickness pills

- a pillow to punch/scream into

- ears

- good speakers

- a brain, for thinking

- Portal

Instructions: Combine all ingredients on the nearest internet connenected computer. play for 4-6 hours, or until done.

ENJOY!!!!!

JOIN FACEBOOK

Well

I got Kenya back up and running! Her keyboard makes the BEST clunk-clunk-clikity-clikity-clunk-clunK!!!!!!

Ruddolf the red hot reindeer!!

Here we go

I Think

I just lost all my friends.

Here

Here

Here

Here

And Finally, HERE

Well

Anya broke up w. me. Oh well. Like my stickers?

My Baby!!!

Isn't it cute???!!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?? Gonna keep the sex a secret, though. (like, if it's a boy or a girl. Get your mind out of the gutter.) Surprises are fun, sometimes. Any name ideas?

At the veeeeeery bottom of this page is the high school countdown! (I chose the least painful background, sorry.)

It's been.... 46 days, so far!

I Have just died laughing

DONT READ IT. Wait for the man to read it to you. Make sure your volume is up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here we go!!!